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PAMELA J. BOYCE: A No-Nonsense Life

 

Sometimes people would see Pamela J. Boyce's direct, no-nonsense style and take it for abrasiveness, says her partner, Catherine Anello. But Pamela, 43, refused to change. "It was similar to slapping someone in the face," Catherine says of the woman she shared a life with in Dyker Heights, Brooklyn. "If there was someone who lost a loved one and had been grieving too long, so that they were not living their life, she would say, `Stop. It's not what they would want. They are in a better place.' She said, `I'm not afraid to die because I know where I am going is beautiful.' "

Pamela had been the assistant vice president of accounting in the New York office of Carr Futures, on the 92nd floor of 1 World Trade Center. She was a competitive disco dancer. One of her happiest moments was serving as a Lamaze coach for her sister Desiree when her niece Kristina was born. "She was so neurotic there she had to find something specific on the baby to make sure they got the right one," Catherine said, laughing. "I think she finally found a little mark on her ear."

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From "Profiles in Grief" of The New York Times