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FRANCIS XAVIER DEMING: Solid Man, Quiet Hero

 

Francis Xavier Deming was not a peacock. He was not ostentatious, flashy or loud. He was a solid man who bowed to God. "He was the quiet hero," said his sister Rose Deming-Phalon. "He worked hard and he worked a lot. He loved his family and he is missed."

By his sister's account, Mr. Deming, 47, was one of the workaday Americans who is never celebrated. He went to his job as an accountant at the Oracle Corporation and came directly home to Franklin Lakes, N.J. He taught his five children to swim. He was active in his church, Most Blessed Sacrament. He built furniture. He was a man who did not lean on others, but whom others leaned on.

His last day on earth is a good example. There is a record of it in a message he left for his wife on their answering machine. He and a group were fleeing the 99th floor of 1 World Trade Center. "Get down low so you can breathe better," he told the group. And then: "What happened to the people who were behind us?"

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From "Profiles in Grief" of The New York Times