After a good
night's sleep, next morning, on October 29, 1969
--my first morning in America!, I flew to
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. From the airport in
Pittsburgh, as planned, I took a taxi to the Jewish
Organization of Pittsburgh --my official sponsor in
the United States. [That Pittsburgh was chosen for me was
purely arbitrary, as it could have been any other
city within the United States with a Jewish
Organization.] Looking through my taxicab's window, I
could not believe that the rural scene that I was
seeing was part of America! (From Romania, we
envisioned the whole of America as being
Manhattan-like!) After a few minutes, I remember
asking the taxi driver in total disbelief:
"Where
are we? This cannot be America!"
"It is America
all right, what are you talking about?" --the
driver responded. To this, I replied:
"You
can tell me the truth where are we? I KNOW that
this is not America!"
"This is Pittsburgh and we going downtown, as you
asked me. I was born here and I know where we
are!" --the driver responded. Perhaps, thinking
that I was a little bit nuts, we had no further
conversation. As we approached the center of the
city, I was considerably more at ease as the
surroundings began to look more like my Manhattan
visualization!
I reached the
HIAS offices of Pittsburgh where I had been
expected. The arrangement was that they would
provide me money for food and shelter and I in
return would have to look for a job and report to
them weekly on my progress. If I were sick and in
need of hospitalization, I was told that they
would pay for the entire cost. I was entitled to
all this support from HIAS for the first two years
after which, I was told, that I would be
completely on my own. They already reserved a room
for me in a Jewish family and they paid $50 per
month for the rent. In addition, I was to receive
every week until I found a job, $20 for food and
other necessities.
After a week, at
my regular weekly scheduled visit, I informed my
contact officer from HIAS, that I did not like
anything about Pittsburgh and that, I could not
conceive starting my life here, much less to stay
here for the two year period. To this the
counselor from HIAS advised me that if I were to
leave Pittsburgh, I would lose immediately all my
benefits and support from HIAS. He then continued
by saying that every newcomer needed a time for
adjustment and thus, that my initial reaction was
not uncommon at all.
Another two
weeks had passed, and we were now in November, and
I had no winter clothes of any sort. More
troubling for me however was the fact that I did
not like at all my living arrangements which were
in a home of ultra-orthodox Jews. You could not
turn on the lights, radio or TV on Saturdays, you
could not mix dairy products with meat products,
you had to place the silverware in specially
designated locations, etc. In short, these
restrictions for me made my life miserable and, I
knew that I was in the wrong place and that I had
to get out of what I considered to be an absurdly
ridiculous and irrational confinement.
On my next
scheduled visit to HIAS, I raised the question of
my living accommodations asking my counselor
whether HIAS would object if I found a different
place for living of my own liking. I was told that
there was no objection as long as my rent did not
exceed the allocated sum of $50 per month. "How
can you find available rooms for rent in
Pittsburgh?" --I asked the HIAS counselor. "You
look in the paper" --the counselor responded as he
handed me the Pittsburgh Jewish newspaper that was
sitting on his desk.
Asking for
permission after my visit was over, I took the
paper into another room, and randomly I picked one
listing from the many that were posted. Upon
calling to get some information about the room
listed for rent, an extremely refined lady
answered the telephone. After I explained why I
was calling, the lady began to ask numerous
questions related to my background. Apparently
satisfied with my answers, the lady gave me her
street address indicating that it was in Squirrel
Hill and invited me to come and see if I liked the
place. I asked her whether $50 per month was
satisfactory for rent as that was how much I could
pay through HIAS. She indicated that that sum was
fine, and we set 3 o'clock next afternoon for the
time that I would come to see the place.
Next day, I took
a taxi for my appointment and when the taxi
stopped and the taxi driver indicated that that
was the address, I could not believe my eyes at
what I was seeing: I was sitting in front of a
palace! I have never in my life seen such a
magnificent and imposing house. I was positive
that I was in the wrong place, as I could not
imagine that the occupants of that stupendous
house would need my $50 per month help! With
hesitation nevertheless I rang the bell on the
front door. An extremely elegant lady in her early
sixties answered the door. Before I had a chance
to say anything, I noticed a small monkey on the
lady's back held by a gold chain. The lady
immediately invited me in saying that she was
pleased that I came on time. As I was walking into
the house mesmerized by the entire scene, I
noticed on my left side a white piano with gold
trim and some music sheets with music of Mozart on
it. As I advanced further into the house, I
noticed two tall dogs which seemed to be quite
unfriendly.
The lady said
that we were going on the second floor to see the
room that was available for rent. It was a large
room stunningly beautiful and clean with exquisite
baroque type furniture. The lady then said that
across the room was my bathroom, that the linen
were changed every second day, that the towels
were changed every day, and that for my laundry I
was to go to the corner of the street where there
was a Laundromat. After all that presentation, the
lady indicated that if I liked the room, I could
move immediately. Stunned by all this, I wanted to
make sure that the lady understood that I was able
to pay only $50 per entire month and that the
payment for rent would come through a check issued
by HIAS of which I had no control. To this she
said that that was just fine and that I should not
worry about things that are out of my control as
everything would work itself out just fine. In
that case, I responded that I could move in on the
next day.
On the following
day I called HIAS letting them know of my new
address. They informed me that they would mail the
check for the rent to the new address in the
afternoon of the same day that I moved in. As I
moved in, the lady of the house, most graciously,
invited me for dinner indicating that formal
attire (suit with tie) would be required. I
accepted that invitation with delight. At dinner
time, the lady of the house introduced me to her
daughter --a young woman in her twenties, my age
at that time. The daughter was extremely reserved
hardly saying anything. Most of the conversation
was done by me in response to the numerous
questions that the lady of the house had with
respect to my background. Her interest in me
astounded and intrigued me. The meal was
extraordinarily opulent served with exquisite red
wine brought from the house's cellar. As I was
about to retreat to my room, I was invited next
morning to have breakfast with them which, I was
told, would be at 8 o'clock in the breakfast room.
I graciously accepted the invitation.
Once back in my
room, I began wondering what was going on. The
house had three (3) floors, and I estimated
that it had some thirty (30) rooms. In the
whole house, I saw only two people: the lady of
the house and her daughter. The dinner that I had
just consumed could easily have exceeded fifty
dollars ($50). Any lamp of the numerous lamps in
the house could clearly have exceeded $50. Why
then they were renting the room for only $50 per
month when they clearly did not need the money?
--was the question which I could not understand.
The whole thing appeared as a great mystery to me.
Next morning I
had breakfast with the lady of the house alone. I
could not bring myself to asking THE QUESTION as
to what was going on and why she was renting the
room when she clearly did not need the money.
Instead, I mentioned to her my desire to go, after
breakfast, to the University of Pittsburgh to see
if my Diploma from the Faculty of Mathematics and
Mechanics of the University of Bucharest would be
good here. To this she said to let her call the
Dean of the University of Pittsburgh first. In
dismay I asked "Do you know the Dean?" to which
she said with an elegant and witty smile: "We know
everyone of importance in Pittsburgh!" Thanking
her for the breakfast and for the help offered, I
timidly indicated to her that it would be my
preference if she would not contact anyone. She
with a little bit of hesitation stated: "All
right, if that is what you want." As I was about
to leave the breakfast room, the lady indicated
that on that evening her three (3) sons would
be there for dinner and that she would like me to
be there too so that I could be introduced to
them. Expressing my delight in meeting the rest of
her family, I agreed to be back by dinner time.
On that evening
at diner aside from the lady of the house and her
daughter, the lady's three sons and their wives
were also present. The sons were in their thirties
and one of them appeared to like me very much. I
was at the center of attention and everybody
appeared to be very friendly towards me with one
exception: the young daughter of the lady of the
house. The daughter was unusually reserved the
whole time and any time that I attempted to strike
up a conversation with her she either ignored me
or would give me a snappy answer in the form of
either Yes or No.
Days began to
pass one by one and I was frequently invited for
breakfast and dinner. The more I began analyzing
the entire situation the more incomprehensible and
bizarre it appeared to be. In fact, day by day I
began being consumed more and more with my
inability to understand what was going on. On the
other hand, at HIAS I had difficulties as they
were unhappy that I was not working. They in fact
threatened to cut my rent money and the food
allowance if I did not show progress with my job
searches.
One morning,
over breakfast, I mentioned to the lady of the
house the difficulties that I was having with HIAS
mentioning the possibility that HIAS might cut my
rent money. In a burst of outrage, the lady, in my
presence called the President of the Jewish
Community of Pittsburgh complaining of the way
HIAS was treating me. The lady advised the
President that if she should ever hear again that
I was mistreated by HIAS, that she would withdraw
immediately her one hundred thousand dollars
($100,000) annual donation to HIAS. After she hung
up the telephone, and still fuming, she stated to
me with visible indignation:
"In
Pittsburgh, we are one of the most prominent
Jewish families donating every year to HIAS one
hundred thousand dollars to help immigrants just
like yourself settle in America. It is
outrageous that they would have the nerve to
behave like that with new immigrants. Don't
worry about the rent money, I am sure that I
will receive the check from HIAS for your rent
on time."
Stunned by all
this, I apologized several times for the trouble
that I had caused and promised that I would never
bring to her attention again any of my personal
problems. To this, now completely calmed and
relaxed, she responded:
"But,
I want to know about all your problems, as we
are in a position to help. I insist that you
come tonight for dinner as we have much more to
say."
Nodding my head,
I acknowledged her request with a simple "Thank
you."
In a day or two,
I received by mail a note from HIAS asking me to
come before my scheduled weekly visit. I was
introduced at that time to the Director from HIAS
who was extremely concerned and apologetic about
my unhappiness with HIAS. I was told that any
problem that I might have in the future I was to
report directly to him, and that I was to let the
lady of the house know that he was personally
taking care of me. He went on by saying that it
was extremely important for him to transmit to her
his personal assurances that he would be taking
care of all my future needs. Under no
circumstances, I was told, was I to bother her
with my problems.
I was
tremendously impressed with my landlady's clout
and relieved that HIAS would continue with its
uninterrupted assistance. I informed her of the
positive outcome with HIAS. She was visibly
pleased and I was invited again for dinner. In the
evening, at the diner table, she was with her
daughter and nobody else. At some point in the
conversation, which was always between the lady of
the house and myself as her daughter usually sat
quietly and barely acknowledged my presence, the
lady asked me as to whether I had any particular
hobbies. Being in the middle of winter with a lot
of snow, I mentioned that I enjoyed skiing. To
this the lady immediately stated:
"Good.
We have a ski reservation in Colorado next to
that of the Kennedys. Why don't you and my
daughter go there for a few weeks."
Her daughter,
upon hearing this, in visible anger, immediately
rose from the chair, threw from her hands both the
knife and the fork onto the table and said "Excuse
Me" as she left the room. I did not know what to
make of all this as I was embarrassed and sorry
for what had happened. After a brief pause, I
stated to her:
"For
several weeks now it has been clear to me that
you have tried to get me and your daughter
together but she, on the other hand, has tried
to avoid this as much as she could. I do not
understand then, why you are doing this when she
clearly does not want it?"
To this, the
landlady stated: "Don't worry about it. In due
course, I will explain everything." Not satisfied
with her answer, I continued pressing her for a
less evasive answer:
"Aside
from pushing me to be with your daughter, there
are other things that I do not understand. Why
did you put that ad in the paper that I
responded to for a room for rent when you
clearly do not need the money? How come that in
this huge house only you and your daughter live?
Your attention and kindness towards me are truly
out of the ordinary and I could not help
wondering as to why you are doing this? I have
had these questions from the very first day that
I came here and I have spent considerable time
in trying to find an answer and to make some
sense of the entire situation."
To this, the
landlady remained unmoved from her initial
position by stating: "Don't worry about this. All
your problems can be resolved." To this, pressing
my point, I continued:
"But,
I need to have an answer right now as all this
is too much of a distraction for me. If I cannot
have a straight answer, I am afraid that I
cannot continue living here."
"All right, we
will talk about this tomorrow morning at
breakfast. I am retiring now." --the lady said.
Saying good night to each other, we left. In my
room, these questions had begun to consume me much
too much leaving me little time for anything else.
Next morning, I
was determined to get to the bottom of all this.
At the breakfast table, I insisted on having the
answers. To my insistence and persistence, the
lady of the house asked me to follow her to the
third floor of the house. We entered into a huge
study room, rather dusty, where I was invited to
sit down. The landlady went behind a large desk
where she sat down and was now facing me directly.
She then in a somber voice stated:
"In
our family we have experienced a great tragedy.
Some three years ago my husband died of cancer.
But this is not the tragedy that I am talking
about, as we were prepared for that. The real
tragedy happened with my daughter. My late
husband and I decided that our daughter be
educated in a special private boarding school
for ladies here in Pittsburgh. That school
required a 4-year commitment in which a girl
sent there would stay there without coming home
for the entire 4-year duration of the program.
At the end of the 4-year program, the school
assured us that our daughter would turn out to
be a truely fine lady with impeccable manners as
well as having received a first-class education.
So, we sent our daughter to that particular
boarding school.
When our daughter
returned after the 4-year stay at the school, we
were horrified at what we saw. My daughter came
home wearing a big cross and profoundly hating
Jews. We did not know at the time that that
school (which now, after being discredited, is
no longer in existence) had a strong
anti-Semitic education. We, as you have seen,
are liberal Jews in the sense that we do not
observe with stringency the kosher cuisine nor
are we fanatic about observing certain Jewish
religious activities. But we nevertheless are
extremely proud of our Jewish heritage as our
family is very active within our Jewish
community.
Our family owns
three (3) factories of towels here in
Pittsburgh and my late husband until his
untimely death was in charge of them. Now, the
control of these factories have been passed to
my three (3) sons that you have met here
several times. 
Here
is the will of my late husband and, as you can
see it is rather voluminous. It contains
detailed clauses for perhaps all imaginable
situations in reference to myself, my daughter,
and my three (3) sons. The will, has
three (3) most pertinent parts:
-With respect to
my daughter, the will provides that if my
daughter marries a non-Jewish man, that she will
receive five dollars ($5) and nothing more
for her inheritance. If on the other hand, she
marries a Jewish man, then she will get a ten
thousand dollars ($10,000) wedding gift plus a
percentage for life as an inheritance from the
profits of the three (3) factories.
-With respect to
my three (3) sons, the will provides that
they would take control of the three (3)
factories provided that the profits should not
fall below a certain limit calculated through a
rather complex formula. If, however, those
profits shall fall below the established low
limit, then my three (3) sons would loose
control of the factories and that control would
move to a Board outside of the family. And
finally,
-With respect to
myself, the will provides that if I remarry, I
would lose everything as inheritance including
this house that I am living in. If I do not
remarry, however, then I have ample financial
resources at my disposal provided that I never
move out of this house.
Now, because
of your Eastern European background, you had
little Jewish observance and Jewish life in
Romania and thus, you could be accepted much
easier by my daughter than that of an active
practitioner of the Jewish faith. This is why
I am interested that you show some patience as
I am sure that my daughter would come around
once she recognizes your background.
With respect
to my three (3) sons, they, at the
moment, appear to be in serious trouble. Each
of them is working 10 to 12 hours a day and
still they cannot not figure out why, under
their control, the profits from the factories
are going down. They are baffled how their
father who, because of his illness, and
working only half a day was able, on the other
hand, to sustain a continuous profit growth.
If this trend continues, my sons, according to
the will, are going to loose control of the
factories. They now have hired two economists
to look into this.
As for
myself, I do not intend to remarry. I am
content with the way things are with the
exception of my daughter whom I do not want to
see disinherited."
After this
extraordinary revelation, I began expressing my
sorrow with respect to the illness and the
untimely death of her late husband. I saw in the
room a number of pictures of her late husband.
After a moment or two of a pause, I indicated to
her that I could not possibly have anything to do
with her daughter by saying:
"You
see, some sixty (60) people from my
father's side were killed in the Auschwitz
Concentration Camp. How, in God's name do you
think I could live with a person such as your
daughter who so deeply hates Jews? I think that
the best thing for everybody would be that I
move out of this house as soon as possible. In
fact, I do not like Pittsburgh at all. [Ironically, some
22 years later, Pittsburgh was voted the most
"livable" city in America!] I want to live in
a big city!"
To this the lady
replied:
"Everything
can be resolved in time. Let's leave it like
that. I will see you at dinner."
Frustrated with
her answer, I stated:
"You
do not seem to understand me. I am leaving
Pittsburgh for good and, I do not care that I
will be losing all my benefits with HIAS. I have
to live in a big city. Which are the largest
cities in the United States?"
Taken by
surprise, the lady indicated that aside from New
York "we have Chicago and Los Angeles." OK, I
responded:
"Since
Los Angeles is too far from here, I will take a
bus to Chicago. That is where I am going!"
Noticing my
determination to go, she said:
"We
have a number of contacts in Chicago. We can
discuss all this at dinner time. We will see you
then."
At dinner, I was
convinced somehow to stay for the remainder of the
month. It was March 1970. The lady was visibly
relieved that I was not planning to leave right
away. She was extremely nice towards me. In the
following days, I ignored completely the lady's
daughter and she took notice of that. Somehow our
roles had been reversed. I was now the one that
ignored her presence and when forced replied with
a Yes or a No answer.
This sudden change in my attitude apparently
intrigued her and that was just fine both with me
and with her mother who was delighted!
Notwithstanding all this, with each passing day,
my determination to go to Chicago grew. In the
last days of March, I informed everybody that on
Fool's Day! --April 1, I was to go, by bus, to
Chicago. I already had my bus tickets. One of the
lady's sons upon hearing the news came immediately
to see me offering me a large sum of money.
Appreciating his gesture, I declined the offer but
he would not take no for an answer. We reached a
compromise that was acceptable to both of us: I
took from him a check of five thousands dollars
($5000) that I would use only if I should need it.
Since I had no intention of ever using that check
I had no problem with the arrangement.
The lady was
extremely unhappy and furious that I was leaving
saying "How could you do this after all that I
have done for you?" But this was my call. Here I
was on a bus to Chicago leaving Pittsburgh for
good on April's Fool Day 1970!.
