After a good
night's sleep, next morning, on October 29, 1969 --my
first morning in America!, I flew to Pittsburgh,
Pennsylvania. From the airport in Pittsburgh, as planned,
I took a taxi to the Jewish Organization of Pittsburgh
--my official sponsor in the United
States.
[That
Pittsburgh was chosen for me was purely arbitrary, as it
could have been any other city within the United States
with a Jewish Organization.] Looking
through my taxicab's window, I could not believe that the
rural scene that I was seeing was part of America! (From
Romania, we envisioned the whole of America as being
Manhattan-like!) After a few minutes, I remember asking
the taxi driver in total disbelief:
"Where
are we? This cannot be America!"
"It is America all
right, what are you talking about?" --the driver
responded. To this, I replied:
"You
can tell me the truth where are we? I KNOW that
this is not America!"
"This is Pittsburgh and we going downtown, as you asked
me. I was born here and I know where we are!" --the
driver responded. Perhaps, thinking that I was a little
bit nuts, we had no further conversation. As we
approached the center of the city, I was considerably
more at ease as the surroundings began to look more like
my Manhattan visualization!
I reached the HIAS
offices of Pittsburgh where I had been expected. The
arrangement was that they would provide me money for food
and shelter and I in return would have to look for a job
and report to them weekly on my progress. If I were sick
and in need of hospitalization, I was told that they
would pay for the entire cost. I was entitled to all this
support from HIAS for the first two years after which, I
was told, that I would be completely on my own. They
already reserved a room for me in a Jewish family and
they paid $50 per month for the rent. In addition, I was
to receive every week until I found a job, $20 for food
and other necessities.
After a week, at my
regular weekly scheduled visit, I informed my contact
officer from HIAS, that I did not like anything about
Pittsburgh and that, I could not conceive starting my
life here, much less to stay here for the two year
period. To this the counselor from HIAS advised me that
if I were to leave Pittsburgh, I would lose immediately
all my benefits and support from HIAS. He then continued
by saying that every newcomer needed a time for
adjustment and thus, that my initial reaction was not
uncommon at all.
Another two weeks
had passed, and we were now in November, and I had no
winter clothes of any sort. More troubling for me however
was the fact that I did not like at all my living
arrangements which were in a home of ultra-orthodox Jews.
You could not turn on the lights, radio or TV on
Saturdays, you could not mix dairy products with meat
products, you had to place the silverware in specially
designated locations, etc. In short, these restrictions
for me made my life miserable and, I knew that I was in
the wrong place and that I had to get out of what I
considered to be an absurdly ridiculous and irrational
confinement.
On my next
scheduled visit to HIAS, I raised the question of my
living accommodations asking my counselor whether HIAS
would object if I found a different place for living of
my own liking. I was told that there was no objection as
long as my rent did not exceed the allocated sum of $50
per month. "How can you find available rooms for rent in
Pittsburgh?" --I asked the HIAS counselor. "You look in
the paper" --the counselor responded as he handed me the
Pittsburgh Jewish newspaper that was sitting on his
desk.
Asking for
permission after my visit was over, I took the paper into
another room, and randomly I picked one listing from the
many that were posted. Upon calling to get some
information about the room listed for rent, an extremely
refined lady answered the telephone. After I explained
why I was calling, the lady began to ask numerous
questions related to my background. Apparently satisfied
with my answers, the lady gave me her street address
indicating that it was in Squirrel Hill and invited me to
come and see if I liked the place. I asked her whether
$50 per month was satisfactory for rent as that was how
much I could pay through HIAS. She indicated that that
sum was fine, and we set 3 o'clock next afternoon for the
time that I would come to see the place.
Next day, I took a
taxi for my appointment and when the taxi stopped and the
taxi driver indicated that that was the address, I could
not believe my eyes at what I was seeing: I was sitting
in front of a palace! I have never in my life seen such a
magnificent and imposing house. I was positive that I was
in the wrong place, as I could not imagine that the
occupants of that stupendous house would need my $50 per
month help! With hesitation nevertheless I rang the bell
on the front door. An extremely elegant lady in her early
sixties answered the door. Before I had a chance to say
anything, I noticed a small monkey on the lady's back
held by a gold chain. The lady immediately invited me in
saying that she was pleased that I came on time. As I was
walking into the house mesmerized by the entire scene, I
noticed on my left side a white piano with gold trim and
some music sheets with music of Mozart on it. As I
advanced further into the house, I noticed two tall dogs
which seemed to be quite unfriendly.
The lady said that
we were going on the second floor to see the room that
was available for rent. It was a large room stunningly
beautiful and clean with exquisite baroque type
furniture. The lady then said that across the room was my
bathroom, that the linen were changed every second day,
that the towels were changed every day, and that for my
laundry I was to go to the corner of the street where
there was a Laundromat. After all that presentation, the
lady indicated that if I liked the room, I could move
immediately. Stunned by all this, I wanted to make sure
that the lady understood that I was able to pay only $50
per entire month and that the payment for rent would come
through a check issued by HIAS of which I had no control.
To this she said that that was just fine and that I
should not worry about things that are out of my control
as everything would work itself out just fine. In that
case, I responded that I could move in on the next
day.
On the following
day I called HIAS letting them know of my new address.
They informed me that they would mail the check for the
rent to the new address in the afternoon of the same day
that I moved in. As I moved in, the lady of the house,
most graciously, invited me for dinner indicating that
formal attire (suit with tie) would be required. I
accepted that invitation with delight. At dinner time,
the lady of the house introduced me to her daughter --a
young woman in her twenties, my age at that time. The
daughter was extremely reserved hardly saying anything.
Most of the conversation was done by me in response to
the numerous questions that the lady of the house had
with respect to my background. Her interest in me
astounded and intrigued me. The meal was extraordinarily
opulent served with exquisite red wine brought from the
house's cellar. As I was about to retreat to my room, I
was invited next morning to have breakfast with them
which, I was told, would be at 8 o'clock in the breakfast
room. I graciously accepted the invitation.
Once back in my
room, I began wondering what was going on. The house had
three (3) floors, and I estimated that it had some
thirty (30) rooms. In the whole house, I saw only
two people: the lady of the house and her daughter. The
dinner that I had just consumed could easily have
exceeded fifty dollars ($50). Any lamp of the numerous
lamps in the house could clearly have exceeded $50. Why
then they were renting the room for only $50 per month
when they clearly did not need the money? --was the
question which I could not understand. The whole thing
appeared as a great mystery to me.
Next morning I had
breakfast with the lady of the house alone. I could not
bring myself to asking THE QUESTION as to what was going
on and why she was renting the room when she clearly did
not need the money. Instead, I mentioned to her my desire
to go, after breakfast, to the University of Pittsburgh
to see if my Diploma from the Faculty of Mathematics and
Mechanics of the University of Bucharest would be good
here. To this she said to let her call the Dean of the
University of Pittsburgh first. In dismay I asked "Do you
know the Dean?" to which she said with an elegant and
witty smile: "We know everyone of importance in
Pittsburgh!" Thanking her for the breakfast and for the
help offered, I timidly indicated to her that it would be
my preference if she would not contact anyone. She with a
little bit of hesitation stated: "All right, if that is
what you want." As I was about to leave the breakfast
room, the lady indicated that on that evening her
three (3) sons would be there for dinner and that
she would like me to be there too so that I could be
introduced to them. Expressing my delight in meeting the
rest of her family, I agreed to be back by dinner
time.
On that evening at
diner aside from the lady of the house and her daughter,
the lady's three sons and their wives were also present.
The sons were in their thirties and one of them appeared
to like me very much. I was at the center of attention
and everybody appeared to be very friendly towards me
with one exception: the young daughter of the lady of the
house. The daughter was unusually reserved the whole time
and any time that I attempted to strike up a conversation
with her she either ignored me or would give me a snappy
answer in the form of either Yes or No.
Days began to pass
one by one and I was frequently invited for breakfast and
dinner. The more I began analyzing the entire situation
the more incomprehensible and bizarre it appeared to be.
In fact, day by day I began being consumed more and more
with my inability to understand what was going on. On the
other hand, at HIAS I had difficulties as they were
unhappy that I was not working. They in fact threatened
to cut my rent money and the food allowance if I did not
show progress with my job searches.
One morning, over
breakfast, I mentioned to the lady of the house the
difficulties that I was having with HIAS mentioning the
possibility that HIAS might cut my rent money. In a burst
of outrage, the lady, in my presence called the President
of the Jewish Community of Pittsburgh complaining of the
way HIAS was treating me. The lady advised the President
that if she should ever hear again that I was mistreated
by HIAS, that she would withdraw immediately her one
hundred thousand dollars ($100,000) annual donation to
HIAS. After she hung up the telephone, and still fuming,
she stated to me with visible indignation:
"In
Pittsburgh, we are one of the most prominent Jewish
families donating every year to HIAS one hundred
thousand dollars to help immigrants just like
yourself settle in America. It is outrageous that
they would have the nerve to behave like that with
new immigrants. Don't worry about the rent money, I
am sure that I will receive the check from HIAS for
your rent on time."
Stunned by all
this, I apologized several times for the trouble that I
had caused and promised that I would never bring to her
attention again any of my personal problems. To this, now
completely calmed and relaxed, she responded:
"But,
I want to know about all your problems, as we are
in a position to help. I insist that you come
tonight for dinner as we have much more to
say."
Nodding my head, I
acknowledged her request with a simple "Thank you."
In a day or two, I
received by mail a note from HIAS asking me to come
before my scheduled weekly visit. I was introduced at
that time to the Director from HIAS who was extremely
concerned and apologetic about my unhappiness with HIAS.
I was told that any problem that I might have in the
future I was to report directly to him, and that I was to
let the lady of the house know that he was personally
taking care of me. He went on by saying that it was
extremely important for him to transmit to her his
personal assurances that he would be taking care of all
my future needs. Under no circumstances, I was told, was
I to bother her with my problems.
I was tremendously
impressed with my landlady's clout and relieved that HIAS
would continue with its uninterrupted assistance. I
informed her of the positive outcome with HIAS. She was
visibly pleased and I was invited again for dinner. In
the evening, at the diner table, she was with her
daughter and nobody else. At some point in the
conversation, which was always between the lady of the
house and myself as her daughter usually sat quietly and
barely acknowledged my presence, the lady asked me as to
whether I had any particular hobbies. Being in the middle
of winter with a lot of snow, I mentioned that I enjoyed
skiing. To this the lady immediately stated:
"Good.
We have a ski reservation in Colorado next to that
of the Kennedys. Why don't you and my daughter go
there for a few weeks."
Her daughter, upon
hearing this, in visible anger, immediately rose from the
chair, threw from her hands both the knife and the fork
onto the table and said "Excuse Me" as she left the room.
I did not know what to make of all this as I was
embarrassed and sorry for what had happened. After a
brief pause, I stated to her:
"For
several weeks now it has been clear to me that you
have tried to get me and your daughter together but
she, on the other hand, has tried to avoid this as
much as she could. I do not understand then, why
you are doing this when she clearly does not want
it?"
To this, the
landlady stated: "Don't worry about it. In due course, I
will explain everything." Not satisfied with her answer,
I continued pressing her for a less evasive
answer:
"Aside
from pushing me to be with your daughter, there are
other things that I do not understand. Why did you
put that ad in the paper that I responded to for a
room for rent when you clearly do not need the
money? How come that in this huge house only you
and your daughter live? Your attention and kindness
towards me are truly out of the ordinary and I
could not help wondering as to why you are doing
this? I have had these questions from the very
first day that I came here and I have spent
considerable time in trying to find an answer and
to make some sense of the entire situation."
To this, the
landlady remained unmoved from her initial position by
stating: "Don't worry about this. All your problems can
be resolved." To this, pressing my point, I
continued:
"But,
I need to have an answer right now as all this is
too much of a distraction for me. If I cannot have
a straight answer, I am afraid that I cannot
continue living here."
"All right, we will
talk about this tomorrow morning at breakfast. I am
retiring now." --the lady said. Saying good night to each
other, we left. In my room, these questions had begun to
consume me much too much leaving me little time for
anything else.
Next morning, I was
determined to get to the bottom of all this. At the
breakfast table, I insisted on having the answers. To my
insistence and persistence, the lady of the house asked
me to follow her to the third floor of the house. We
entered into a huge study room, rather dusty, where I was
invited to sit down. The landlady went behind a large
desk where she sat down and was now facing me directly.
She then in a somber voice stated:
"In
our family we have experienced a great tragedy.
Some three years ago my husband died of cancer. But
this is not the tragedy that I am talking about, as
we were prepared for that. The real tragedy
happened with my daughter. My late husband and I
decided that our daughter be educated in a special
private boarding school for ladies here in
Pittsburgh. That school required a 4-year
commitment in which a girl sent there would stay
there without coming home for the entire 4-year
duration of the program. At the end of the 4-year
program, the school assured us that our daughter
would turn out to be a truely fine lady with
impeccable manners as well as having received a
first-class education. So, we sent our daughter to
that particular boarding school.
When our daughter
returned after the 4-year stay at the school, we
were horrified at what we saw. My daughter came
home wearing a big cross and profoundly hating
Jews. We did not know at the time that that school
(which now, after being discredited, is no longer
in existence) had a strong anti-Semitic education.
We, as you have seen, are liberal Jews in the sense
that we do not observe with stringency the kosher
cuisine nor are we fanatic about observing certain
Jewish religious activities. But we nevertheless
are extremely proud of our Jewish heritage as our
family is very active within our Jewish
community.
Our family owns
three (3) factories of towels here in
Pittsburgh and my late husband until his untimely
death was in charge of them. Now, the control of
these factories have been passed to my
three (3) sons that you have met here several
times. 
Here
is the will of my late husband and, as you can see
it is rather voluminous. It contains detailed
clauses for perhaps all imaginable situations in
reference to myself, my daughter, and my
three (3) sons. The will, has three (3)
most pertinent parts:
-With respect to my
daughter, the will provides that if my daughter
marries a non-Jewish man, that she will receive
five dollars ($5) and nothing more for her
inheritance. If on the other hand, she marries a
Jewish man, then she will get a ten thousand
dollars ($10,000) wedding gift plus a percentage
for life as an inheritance from the profits of the
three (3) factories.
-With respect to my
three (3) sons, the will provides that they
would take control of the three (3) factories
provided that the profits should not fall below a
certain limit calculated through a rather complex
formula. If, however, those profits shall fall
below the established low limit, then my
three (3) sons would loose control of the
factories and that control would move to a Board
outside of the family. And finally,
-With respect to
myself, the will provides that if I remarry, I
would lose everything as inheritance including this
house that I am living in. If I do not remarry,
however, then I have ample financial resources at
my disposal provided that I never move out of this
house.
Now, because
of your Eastern European background, you had little
Jewish observance and Jewish life in Romania and
thus, you could be accepted much easier by my
daughter than that of an active practitioner of the
Jewish faith. This is why I am interested that you
show some patience as I am sure that my daughter
would come around once she recognizes your
background.
With respect
to my three (3) sons, they, at the moment,
appear to be in serious trouble. Each of them is
working 10 to 12 hours a day and still they cannot
not figure out why, under their control, the
profits from the factories are going down. They are
baffled how their father who, because of his
illness, and working only half a day was able, on
the other hand, to sustain a continuous profit
growth. If this trend continues, my sons, according
to the will, are going to loose control of the
factories. They now have hired two economists to
look into this.
As for
myself, I do not intend to remarry. I am content
with the way things are with the exception of my
daughter whom I do not want to see
disinherited."
After this
extraordinary revelation, I began expressing my sorrow
with respect to the illness and the untimely death of her
late husband. I saw in the room a number of pictures of
her late husband. After a moment or two of a pause, I
indicated to her that I could not possibly have anything
to do with her daughter by saying:
"You
see, some sixty (60) people from my father's
side were killed in the Auschwitz Concentration
Camp. How, in God's name do you think I could live
with a person such as your daughter who so deeply
hates Jews? I think that the best thing for
everybody would be that I move out of this house as
soon as possible. In fact, I do not like Pittsburgh
at all. [Ironically,
some 22 years later, Pittsburgh was voted the most
"livable" city in America!]
I want to live in a big city!"
To this the lady
replied:
"Everything
can be resolved in time. Let's leave it like that.
I will see you at dinner."
Frustrated with her
answer, I stated:
"You
do not seem to understand me. I am leaving
Pittsburgh for good and, I do not care that I will
be losing all my benefits with HIAS. I have to live
in a big city. Which are the largest cities in the
United States?"
Taken by surprise,
the lady indicated that aside from New York "we have
Chicago and Los Angeles." OK, I responded:
"Since
Los Angeles is too far from here, I will take a bus
to Chicago. That is where I am going!"
Noticing my
determination to go, she said:
"We
have a number of contacts in Chicago. We can
discuss all this at dinner time. We will see you
then."
At dinner, I was
convinced somehow to stay for the remainder of the month.
It was March 1970. The lady was visibly relieved that I
was not planning to leave right away. She was extremely
nice towards me. In the following days, I ignored
completely the lady's daughter and she took notice of
that. Somehow our roles had been reversed. I was now the
one that ignored her presence and when forced replied
with a Yes or a No answer.
This sudden change in my attitude apparently intrigued
her and that was just fine both with me and with her
mother who was delighted! Notwithstanding all this, with
each passing day, my determination to go to Chicago grew.
In the last days of March, I informed everybody that on
Fool's Day! --April 1, I was to go, by bus, to Chicago. I
already had my bus tickets. One of the lady's sons upon
hearing the news came immediately to see me offering me a
large sum of money. Appreciating his gesture, I declined
the offer but he would not take no for an answer. We
reached a compromise that was acceptable to both of us: I
took from him a check of five thousands dollars ($5000)
that I would use only if I should need it. Since I had no
intention of ever using that check I had no problem with
the arrangement.
The lady was
extremely unhappy and furious that I was leaving saying
"How could you do this after all that I have done for
you?" But this was my call. Here I was on a bus to
Chicago leaving Pittsburgh for good on April's Fool Day
1970!.
